The realm of the
fantasy film has been mired in realism for too long. People are insistent on
counting bullets or shotgun shells, for example, and love to give stultifying
lectures on gun capacity.
Our films are meant to transport you to places you
would not ordinarily go, and to help you go there, please observe a few ground
rules of our choosing.
GROUND RULES
1. If our hero or villain wants to reload a gun, they will.
Otherwise, please imagine the armament is self-reloading, the magazine was
swapped when you weren't looking, or it is an infinite magazine
model.
2. If the hero
is shot at and missed, the bad guys are bad shots. The fact of the matter is
you don't know everything about what is going on. Maybe the bad guy missed on
purpose. Bad guys had ulterior motives, you know. Watch the damn movie or go
get me a drink.
3. If
the geography does not match up, you are looking at the wrong
map.
4. The people in
these exploitation films are insane. That is why they are not intended to be
role models, and it's the reason why, for the most part, they are
watchable.
5. We don't
care about race, ethnicity, planet of origin, height, sex, sexuality or
political affiliation. Our characters are not archetypes, nor do we support
lionization of our characters for social commentary. Recall our advisement re:
insanity. They are all based on our lives, anyway, and we resent intrusion into
our personal affairs.
6. Those of us who have kids don't let them watch this
stuff.
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Q&A.
Q. What if I buy the film
and don't like it and want my $$$ back? A. Tell a friend how much you liked it
and sell it to him, at a profit if you can. This tactic was described in Mark
Twain's Huckleberry Finn at length; the Duke, the King and the Royal NoneSuch,
ch. 23... You should have read it, we are not responsible for the gullibility
of patrons.
Q. Who are
all these actors? A. People you are going to be seeing a lot
of.
Q. Who do you
people think you are? A. The constitution of the United States guarantees
freedom of expression and speech, and the right to life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness. We are nobody. Just some guys. It makes us happy to make
inconsequential little films full of dangerous and doped up fiends. It's
cathartic. Most of this stuff is drawn from personal experience anyway. So.
Blame the people who made
the movie making technology available to just anybody.
Q. I have a script.
A. Is that a question? The answer is a
question. How much money do you have to produce that script?
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King of the Strippers is our
first feature as Urban 3D Max.
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